Building Connections Before Instruction: Why Pairing Matters in ABA Therapy

When starting ABA therapy, especially in a home setting, one of the most essential (yet often overlooked) steps is the pairing session. This initial phase is where the Registered Behavior Technician (RBT) focuses on building trust, connection, and motivation—not instruction.

But why is this so critical? And how does it set the stage for meaningful progress in therapy?

Kind Kids Therapy Resources

🤝 What Is a Pairing Session?

In Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), pairing refers to the process where the RBT becomes a source of reinforcement for the client. Rather than placing demands, the therapist enters the client’s world: playing, exploring, and interacting in ways that bring joy to the child.

During this time, the therapist is:

• Building rapport

• Observing preferences

• Creating positive associations with their presence

As a result, the child begins to see the RBT as someone fun, safe, and worth engaging with.

🎯 The Goal: Establishing Instructional Control

Once pairing is successful, the RBT can transition into more structured learning—but not before. This brings us to a key concept in ABA: instructional control.

What is Instructional Control?

Instructional control is a positive relationship where the client willingly follows the RBT’s instructions because they know doing so leads to something they value (e.g., toys, attention, praise).

"Instructional control is not about coercion. It’s about creating a relationship where the learner wants to engage with you." — Cooper, Heron & Heward (2020)

Why Is It Important?

Without instructional control, teaching becomes frustrating. The child may resist, act out, or disengage. With it, the learning environment becomes positive, predictable, and productive.

🔁 How Pairing Builds Instructional Control

Pairing leverages foundational principles of behavior:

• Classical Conditioning: The therapist becomes associated with preferred activities (a conditioned reinforcer).

• Operant Conditioning: The RBT provides reinforcement for proximity, engagement, and communication.

These principles explain why a child is more likely to follow directions from someone they like and trust.

✅ RBT Tips for Effective Pairing

Do's

• Follow the child’s lead: Let them show you what they love.

• Give free access to reinforcement: Become the provider of all good things.

• Narrate naturally: Use play to model language.

• Join in their play: Be a part of the fun, not a silent observer.

• Take data on preferences: You'll need it later for effective reinforcement.

  
  

Don'ts

• Don’t place demands: Avoid triggering resistance.

• Don’t ignore bids for attention: Every social moment counts.

• Don’t withhold items unnecessarily: Prevent frustration and escape behaviors.

📚 Backed by Science

Research has shown that pairing improves engagement and learning:

• Sundberg & Partington (1998) emphasized pairing before instruction in early intervention.

• Carbone (2004) highlighted that pairing the therapist with reinforcement is essential for motivation.

• Hanley et al. (2003) demonstrated that effective behavior change starts with strong, positive relationships.

  
  

For a deeper dive, refer to: Applied Behavior Analysis, 3rd Edition by Cooper, Heron & Heward.

🌟 Final Thoughts

In ABA therapy, the best teaching starts before the teaching. A well-executed pairing phase can transform therapy sessions from power struggles to joyful, collaborative learning experiences.

For RBTs, this means slowing down, playing more, and focusing on connection before correction.

Want to set up your therapy team for success? Start with pairing. Build the relationship. The learning will follow.

Author: Kind Kids Clinical Team

Contact: kindkidstherapy@gmail.com | (786) 635-7808

Empowering families. Supporting growth. Every step of the way.